Ugly Car Race – 24 Hours of LeMons – Ignores Signs – Messes With Texas
Endurance event for $500 junkers Will infest Houston on 18-19 October. HOUSTON, Aug. 4 /EMWPresswire/ -- Flagrantly disregarding the "Don't Mess With Texas" signs posted throughout the state, the 24 Hours of LeMons -- a wild and whacky, cult-hit endurance race for cars that cost $500 or less -- is scheduled to uglify Houston on 18-19 October. "LeMons race cars display gangrenous rust scabs, rattle-can paint jobs, flatulent engines, and other aesthetically unpleasant features," said Jay Lamm, creator and chief perpetrator of the nationwide clunker series. "We thus advise all Texans of a sensitive nature to avoid MSR Houston, a racetrack just south of Houston in Angleton, Texas, between Friday, 17 October and Monday, 20 October." Local residents have also been warned about slovenly, over-aged fat guys stuffed into tight fireproof driving suits. Lamm continued, "Under no circumstances whatsoever should local racing fans spend $20 at the gate for an all-access pass and cheer on these nutjobs in person. That just encourages them." According to Lamm, the impending arrival of 90 dirt-cheap endurance racing cars has also strained already tense US/Mexico relations in the region. Fearing that the event's toxic aesthetics and huge cloud of beer fumes might spill out beyond Texas, Mexico's Department of Interior has requested a temporary suspension of NAFTA and begun hastily building its own border fence south of the Rio Grande. Affirms one consular officer, "For the first time in 150 years, we're delighted we no longer own Texas." Lamm, a well-known San Francisco based automotive troublemaker, created LeMons two years ago after receiving a sharp blow to the head with a wheel hammer. Initially conceived as a parody of Europe's famed 24 Hours of Le Mans, LeMons has gone on to outdo its French rival with high-tech advances such as a race car entirely covered in fur; a team of drivers all dressed as 1970s pimps and escorts; and mandatory aerodynamic penalties with cars in the shape of pigs, squirrels and mating frogs. To learn more about this race, or to enter, or just waste some time at the office, go to http://www.24HoursofLeMons.com.
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